Short rant before bed time

So... my attempt to live up to that "Happy Gas" title can officially get labeled as a big, fat FAIL. I always come back to this blog when I have depressing thoughts to share :(

I was reading the previous entry about how awesome my first hospital internship was, all the while regretting why I sacrificed one month of internship here in Gießen, at the university hospital. The working atmosphere just isn't the same: the docs are too busy to at least act like they enjoy their job, the nurses like to bully me (well some of them) and the patients are starting to get on my nerves...

I don't sound like a promising up-and-coming doc, do I? Well let me sum it up for ya: Whatever fascination my first hospital, HELIOS, elicited in me, my uni hospital UKGM just managed to damage and destroy. I don't want to elaborate on the entire matter because it would probably cost me a whole hour and more of my precious sleep, and believe me, it's not worth it.

I just had a very shitty day. :(

As usual, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And with the things that happened today, I just realized a few more things about myself, my personality and my goal of striving to become a good person. I really would like to share it now, but time's up and sleep comes first. I'm not gonna promise to come back tomorrow and continue the post like in the previous entry, because I know I'm not gonna keep that promise anyway. And really, since when have I become a promise breaker?

See, all my efforts to live up to my ideal personality is going down the drain. And the worst thing is, I have nothing to blame that on. I'm rambling, I know. I'm just gonna get some sleep now and continue a more structured rant some other time... soon.