Another
year has passed, and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt time flying faster than this
time. The sudden realization that I’ll be 24 this year surely doesn’t make me
feel better. I don’t consider 24 old, it’s just that I don’t feel accomplished
enough for a 24-year-old, with so many things I haven’t been able to get done.
But well, we should all look at the bright side of things, shouldn’t we? So I
shall focus more on the things I did
get done so far, which are not so small in number, either. I guess.
Two-thousand-and-sixteen,
the year so many people have learned to curse, really. I don’t know what the
odds are that so many famous people died within one year, but just the events
of Aleppo, Nizza, and the American Election, to name a few, are enough to deem
2016 rather unfortunate. For me personally, 2016 hasn’t been the best time of
my life, either.
Following
me the whole year was that one issue, at the end of which I got my heart
broken. It is so hard, so hard, to accept that someone you love has changed,
and the person you’re loving does not actually exist anymore. I’ve had my share
of misery and tears until I was strong enough to let go. (That hurt just as
much as holding on, to be honest.) Yeah, it still is difficult sometimes, but
at least I can always come back to that determination in my head that
constantly says, “You’ve hurt me long enough. Enough’s enough.” And when I can
feel the absence of anger, that’s when I know I’ll be alright.
While in
2015, I was thriving in my social life, I think I rather failed in 2016, even
more so towards the end of the year. Especially going through that misery time
mentioned above (let’s call it the Big Issue) I often have the feeling that no
one can quite keep up with my thoughts and feelings, not even my mom. And being
the person so often in need of sharing and caring, the whole situation sucked
to me, badly.
I had big
plans for 2016 actually, like going to Australia, working on my dissertation
thesis, and so on. None of my plans went smoothly, and a lot of them were only
fulfilled in parts. I really do think that it all has something to do with the
Big Issue, as it distracted me too much to perform well in anything. This would
be a first actually, me letting emotions affect work. Another reason to keep
myself more in check in 2017.
But enough
of the dark stuff, let’s look at the bright side. There are two positive things
that I’ll remember 2016 for. One of them is the Twinning project with the
medical faculty in Kaunas, Lithuania. I had the best two weeks in a very, very
long time with the people then, only happy memories of laughter and smiles
coming up when I think back to it. For that, I am endlessly grateful to
everyone who participated and made that special memory of mine possible. The
last times that I can remember savoring every moment of a trip like that is up
to ten years ago, when I visited my friends in Vietnam for the first few times.
The second thing I shall be thankful for in 2016 is becoming flatmates with
Yaldi and Tobi. Especially Yaldi has turned out to be a treasure. I don’t think
I’ve ever had that much fun living outside of my parent’s home, and I have been
doing that for over five years already. If you two are reading this, please
know that I love you guys to bits. But I guess you already know that. :P
Well yeah,
that’s my looking back for this year. I like to look back in order to pave the
roads for the future, so now I shall list my resolutions for 2017:
·
· Learn Japanese properly.· Get a satisfying result for the second state exam this summer. (Dis I’m most scared of tbh.)
· Keep balance by being active and doing sports even more regularly.
· Educate myself more about social issues, especially gender equality and economics, and then form some stances that are based on more systematic reasoning.
Gosh, that sounds so nerdy. But that also really sounds like me. :P
I have a good feeling about 2017. Let's wait and see.
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