I never thought that one day, we would be in this situation. I never thought that it could ever happen to me. I really wish I could turn back time to re-do things I wish I had done differently, but then I also think that it's not only my actions that has led to this outcome. It breaks my heart over and over again, every time I think about it.
Some people think one needs to let go, when one loves someone and they don't love back. Others think it is a gift, the act of loving in itself. I don't know what I think. I don't think it is ever going to be easy for me to stop loving once I truly love someone, even though at times, love can be buried by other consuming emotions. But I have to let go eventually, don't I? Because I also don't think that I can live with being constantly hurt...
"Love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect." I just read that quote recently. It's true, isn't it?
[But don't you understand that I find giving up on you just as hard and as hurtful as keeping loving you? Why do you have to put me through this? Whatever I try, it always results in me being heartbroken. I wish you could be different, but oh what do they usually say? Do not try to change others, try to adjust your attitude. But I'm really at my wit's end here...]
Nothing is going well for me in the past two months. Nothing. I hate that last year was so hard towards the end of the year, and this year it is just the same. I won't break down, but it is about goddamn time that something good happens to me again.
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