Well, hello there. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?
We're waist-deep in the season of falling leaves and windy weather now, yet I'm missing the usual calm and peace I'm used to feeling every year. Life is tossing me around a little bit these days (again), not as gently as I would like it to, but no tossing at all would be boring, too, right? I'm trying to make the best out of it, because what else can I do?
Suddenly I want to lit a perfumed candle, cook me some warm tea, and just sit here writing while the rain is drumming on my window from the outside. I guess this is the calm and peace I wanted. (Hang on a sec, let me do just that. I'll be right back.)
(I'm back already. There you go, much better now.)
Things are slowly changing, some for the better, some not. Especially the better changes have been long overdue, definitely. I want to push for some more changes, because I'm not very satisfied with all the circumstances I'm in right now. Of course, I am reminded to keep my expectations in check, as I know my resources and options are limited.
When I look around me, comparisons slap me awake again and again. Emphasize my dissatisfaction. Bring me down a little, but push my motivation up again. I wish I could channel all my negative feelings into motivation to do better. Imagine the productivity.
Just this second, I asked myself what the hell my resolutions for this year are. Oops, lost sight of them. This is not gonna end as a successful year, I can already predict that. No year is probably gonna be as good as 2013. It's always difficult when you set the bar high so early...
I find it funny when someone tells me they like me because I'm so simple. I honestly don't know what to say in those moments. "What? Are you crazy? I'm the best-fitting antonym of 'simple' you can get". Or, "Oh yeah, if by 'simple', you mean an ambiverted, hard-to-predict, multi-faceted overthinker, then you're correct." Believe me, I really try to work on the overthinking. But I don't want to be superficial, and I find it incredibly hard to see the line between the two. The golden mean, blah blah, it's just a myth. Hmph.
Well, hasn't this post been informative. A list of incoherent thoughts put together in a chunk of text. I don't even know if I myself will understand everything I wrote above when I come back to read this in the future. But one thing is for sure: I love reading every post from the past. And this one will not be an exception. That's the very first reason why I keep a blog, or post pictures and short statuses on various platforms anyway. Can't nobody take that away from me.
But yeah, enough of the rambling already. At least for today.
